Russian dating sites have been key to some successful relationships. But, what if you or your Russian muse has uncontrollable issues with jealousy.
Jealousy is actually a sign of distress. It is a state of being resentful towards someone regarded as a sexual rival. It is a mixture of anger and fear: anger at seeing the partner having interest on someone else, and fear that the partner be taken away by someone else. Jealousy also hides a real desire to control and possess the partner. There are no scientific studies on why people turn into green-eyed monsters, but it seems that both men and women experience jealousy in the same way, even if men have a tendency to express it more than women do.
We all get jealous from time to time, but strong feelings of jealousy reveals a real deficiency in self-confidence. A person who is jealous not only doubts their partner’s faithfulness, but their own beauty and capabilities. They may believe that they are not worthy of their partner’s adoration.
Here are some tips on how to deal with jealousy that the Russian dating sites may have not provided you:
Connect with your partner. Tell your partner about your doubts, fears, and thoughts. If it upsets you to see her eyeing your basketball buddy’s abs, let her know, so that she’ll start being more sensitive to how you feel.
Spend some time without your partner. Keep some time for yourself. Hang out with your friends when she goes out with hers, and make the most out of your time spent apart. Don’t fish for information about the things she had been doing while you were both away from each other.
Have self-confidence. Keep a mental note of the things your partner loves about you. Remember which among your personality traits and physical attributes she admires most, so that when you start feeling jealous, you can simply remind yourself on how she loves your toothy grin, and that you don’t have to worry about that shirtless jock with ugly, stained teeth.
Put yourself in her shoes. Trying to see yourself in her situation would help put things in perspective. Make a list of all the things that trigger your jealousy, and look at them objectively. If you were in that situation, how would you feel if she starts getting jealous over nothing.
Contemplate on why you feel jealous in the first place. Try to figure out why you are feeling anxious about her spending time with other guys. Usually, jealousy is about reliving an experience of failure from before that goes on to inform your level of trust, or lack thereof, toward people in the present, even though current conditions are a far cry from the previous one.
Remember, it is normal to be a bit displeased when your partner is gazing at other men, but if you spend all your time spying on her, checking her phone, bombarding her with questions about the things she’s been doing and whom she spends it with, as well as dreaming up scenes where she is with someone else, then that jealousy is bordering on obsession. Searching for clues that she’s being unfaithful and imagining how things are going between them, whether or not it is true that she’s cheating on you, is not healthy, meaning your jealousy has gotten out of hand. If this is the case, it is best to see a therapist, who will help you re-discover your confidence in yourself and your mate.