Money makes the world go around according to many people. But is money a factor in dating and relationships? Does it determine a happily ever after or maybe it doesn’t? Truthfully to some extent it does, but it should not be a big deal.
Relationships need love, time, effort and some money. When you first start dating it may not be a big deal but as you share things more and more, money becomes something you both share. There are times that one person spends more and the other one less and vice versa. However money can greatly affect the relationship in the long run because money is commensurate to a certain amount of effort we put in in our work.
How Does Money Affect Relationships?
When you first meet each other, you just think about how giddy you are that you’ve found someone like this person who is totally amazing. You don’t care much about his or her bank account (well unless that is all you are after or you’re a gold digger). You just think about how you want to be with this person and don’t really mind how much he or she makes.
On the other hand, as the relationship progresses, you both share experiences together. Experiences may or may not entail money. Most of the time, a lot of things do cost money. Having dates, trips, eating out, watching movies and other activities do cost money. As you go further into the relationship, there will be a point where you will need to share expenses for your day to day needs. Both of these entail a wise balance and a healthy conversation about finances.
1. Dating and money
In the beginning of dating and a relationship, money is not such a big factor. Money only becomes a factor when one or both parties feel that dates have to be expensive and luxurious. But dates can be spent well with as little as a blanket and some stars in the park at night. You can catch Netflix together or just tell stories as you have coffee. It does not need to be expensive.
But on the other hand even before going into the serious stuff you have to know if the other person is someone you can trust with money. Because as you take the relationship further, you will discover that sharing your finances will be more common. If you date someone who is careless about money or is too controlling about money, you may end up bitter in the end.
2. Going Deeper
As you go deeper into the relationship you will discover that sharing your finances with the other party is becoming more and more common. Splitting the bill is going to be a part of the equation. Sometimes you will need to travel with one another which will entail both of you chipping in.
When your relationship progresses, your plans together mesh as well. These means looking at the future such as thinking about moving together, getting married or having children (or not having children). All of these would entail you to make decisions together on how to spend your money. This would mean that you need to be in sync in making monetary decisions. If you are with someone who has a totally different set of values about money, you may need to have a discussion about it and be clear right at the very beginning.
3. Moving together and/or Getting Married
Once you decide to move in together, at first you will both say that the bills will be split in half or someone might be paying more. You have to be clear what direction the finances go so there will no fights involving money. Everything about moving together involves money. Will you share the expenses on food? Or will each one pick out his or her own meal? How will you pay for the utilities. I know these things don’t go into the minds of most people who move in together, but they are part and parcel fo the equation.
On the other hand, once you get married, you are now bound by love and law to share money in half literally. You will buy stuff together: houses, cars, educational plans and lots of other stuff. In this phase of your relationship, you will need to be clear with one another about how you both want to grow your money together. Is having a debt OK or not? What are credit cards for? There are so many questions you need to answer about money and finances when you get married.
Do’s and Don’t’s About Money in Your Relationships
As you see money does matter in a relationship. In the ideal world it should not be that important but in truth, money will always be a factor in any form of relationship. On the other hand, there are do’s and don’t’s about how money should be in you relationship.
Do – Do talk about it as the relationship goes deeper.
Don’t – Don’t sound like an accountant in the beginning of the relationship.
Do – Do plan on how you spend money
Don’t – Don’t date someone who has no financial plans if you want a stable life
Do – Do balance your finances together.
Don’t – Don’t spend too much money to impress the other person
Do – Do have savings, separate or together.
Don’t – Don’t fight about money.
Those are just a few. There are so many things couples need to know about money and balancing it as they work their way with living together and growing old together. It does not matter whether you are in the beginning of the relationship or in the end part, you must be careful about money.
Yes, money does matter in relationships. You must take into account that you work to make money and money helps you live the life you want. On the other hand it is not everything in life. Love is still more important. You must work together to achieve your dreams.
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